Wait had gone gathering on her own, not something she tended to do, as even though she knew the area well she still managed to get herself lost. Nothing yelling for Return wouldn't fix but still, he was busy trying to do things like hunt, he shouldn't have to come to her aid. So lost in thought was Wait that she didn't realize she'd come across a grotto she'd never seen before and ducked under some low hanging mosses curiously, noticing a deep purple light the further she went and stopping as she came to a crystal. Wait didn't know how long she was there...or when she came out...or even when she returned home with a meager amount of berries to show for her efforts but Return hadn't judged her for not having much at least. Which was good, though her mind was busy mulling things over, trying to make sense of the days events, and when it was time to sleep she lay beside him.
Wait fell into a fitful sleep beside Return, and woke in the middle of the night, her mate passed out, and she stood there staring down at his prone form before turning and stepping from the cave careful not to wake him. It wasn't like her to just go out like this without a word to him, and yet something called to her. She had to go do this, to figure out why it felt like she wasn't fitting in herself anymore, why everything felt too tight and itchy and bursting at the edges. It had her on edge most the time and nothing was really helping ease that constant uneasy feeling.
It was more than the cold was coming around again, though she disliked the cold weather, even now she still hadn't fully grown used to it and felt useless in the colder months though Return was good at assuring her she wasn't. Still, Wait wished she could be more like him more and more often. Bigger, stronger, hardier. Coupled with filmy vision and it was a wonder the buck stayed as patient as he did when things like her tripping over him, or their things, or well anything happened really. Food spilled, things knocked and broken, injuries to the both of them since she couldn't make things out, items ruined. More than once she'd felt awful for all of it, and wishing she wasn't like this.
So she walked, following the pull in her chest, the discomfort switching between easing up, and making her feel like she was going to scratch her own skin off if she didn't hurry, didn't stop making the wrong turns or course corrections she found herself making now again as she went. Finally though she was where she needed to be a quiet little grotto near their home she didn't recall being here and idly Wait wondered if this was a dream. Maybe it was a dream. It would explain a lot.
Still she ducked between low hanging mosses into the mostly hidden cavern, the weird light she could dimly make out guiding her. It was dark and had a chaotic feeling to it and yet she didn't feel scared by this, and strode boldly further, stopping as she came close enough to make out the deep purple crystal before her...and noting all the various crystals all around her.
Getting closer she noticed her reflections doing the same and that they all looked different in some ways. Shorter hair, different eye colors, different markings. She turned slowly, looking at everything carefully, the unease in her growing. Now things were getting more noticeable. Her tail was different, longer. It was pink and hairless and reminded her of Sullen's pet mice and made her smile. She liked that a lot. The unease settled a little bit.
Still looking this way and that at the various mirrored crystals she let out a gasp of surprise. These weren't her...were they!? Except they were. They were her but...as different kin. Looking she quickly dismissed Totoma, it didn't feel right. Acha felt too small. Kiokote perhaps...but Kimeti like her mate... that made the unease let up even more in her.
Wait wasn't sure how long she was looking, the mirrors before her felt endless but she knew she'd found the right one when the unease that had been growing uncontrollably was suddenly gone. Staring into the crystal mirror she took in the sleek, thin buck who didn't have quite the same build as Will Always Return, she'd never seen an anti-butch kimeti buck before and yet he felt right. Wait noticed the crescent moon mark on his chest was still there, though there was more colorful spots than was currently on her, a little more black and a lot less of the peachy color. And his tail! His tail looked like a mouse tail, all long hairless and pink. It fit him so well, and it made her feel so happy looking at him, at peace, and so she stepped forward ready to become this new version of herself, to become him and be comfortable in her own skin, at long last.
(here's Waits original inspo pic. There's little colorful markings on the jeans which is really hard to see on her)
