[PRP] Doubt (Zar + Bath)

[Baneful]

Things at the mountain had been really, really weird for Zar all told. It was more than just the rampant starvation and attacks by wild animals. Something had been going on up on that mountain that went far beyond what he could wrap his head around. He’d been pulled into a nightmare – or what he’d assumed was a nightmare – and found himself faced with a creature that was like him and yet unlike him, starved, weakened and consumed. It had protected him, but he hadn’t trusted it, and when he found himself back in the swamp, it was with a lot of bumps and bruises and a hunger for sinweed and home.

He turned and left the obelisk behind and after retrieving Bath, spent a few days recovering in their familiar and welcome lands.

And yet, in spite of it all, he couldn’t relax, he kept thinking about how beaten up Bath had got and how he’d been able to do nothing at all about it. It gnawed at him until eventually he got up and went to find him.

Letting himself into Barth’s space, he didn’t even greet him, just spoke. “Do you think I failed you out there?”

[Toshiful]

Bath had gotten home, and slept for absolute ages. It had taken a lot out of him. The fighting, the climbing, the walking, the lack of food, the lack of sleep. He wasn't sure how he was alive at all. He felt barely held together.

The sinweed was like life itself, the bitter taste almost making him want to cry with how good it was.

Had it been worth it? Maybe, maybe. He would think on it later. He turned it over in his dreams. It was all stranger than strange. It felt like change.

It was days before he was awake for longer than it took to eat, drink, and relieve himself. His bed of vegetation was well-worn into his indent. Still, he finally looked more like he belonged to the living instead of the undead. The bruises had blossomed into something truly terrible.

"Zar," he said with surprise and relief. It was more than good seeing him. But the question didn't register, and Bath couldn't be sure what Zar could mean. "Do you mean, did we fail? I don't know. We went to see something unusual, and it was more than I could have imagined. But whether it can aid our purposes here... One of the shards would have been useful, but you saw how the mountain got as a result. I'm still trying to make sense of it all. We were certainly witnesses to greater forces. And power beyond boundaries of what I had thought possible."

[Baneful]

Zar looked at the floor thoughtfully before coming over to lay down on the vegetation next to him, not close enough to be considered intimate but close enough it felt close to him. "I don't really mean the mountain, that was... something crazy." Something he felt like Boar would be interested in, he thought it was way too dangerous for anyone to be involved in honestly.

"I just mean, I am supposed to help to protect you." he said. "But you got seven shades of hell beaten out of you. I didn't stop any of it."

[Toshiful]

"Oh, that," Bath said, feeling suddenly and keenly embarrassed. "I...do you know, I picked every one of those fights? I insulted much bigger kin than me. Very thoroughly. And it wasn't even for any good reason. I didn't gain any new information out of it. That's certainly not your fault."

He gave Zar a slow nuzzle.

"I'll settle for not having picked a fight with you. I'm a bit sore, that's all."

[Baneful]

"It shouldn't matter who started the fight." Zar said. "Only who wins them in the end. I shouldn't have left you alone, but I did. It was a mistake." He'd just needed to walk long and far to get them enough food to even survive the month they'd spent eking out a living on the side of the mountain.

"I'm glad to be back here." he said, before seeming to cheer a little.

"I wish you had picked a fight with me." he said playfully.

[Toshiful]

"What?" Bath asked, "Whatever for? No, I wouldn't dream of it. You much too important. That is-" Bath swallowed thickly, "I mean, I was really rather horrible. Not the violence. Although that got out of hoof, too. The...things I said. I didn't have anything to say to you along those lines. What would I insult? You're basically perfect," Bath felt hotter as he talked, "Your voice, your horns, and spots, and how soft...that is- Even feeling...feeling like I did. Up there. I couldn't have."

[Baneful]

Zar laughed at this. "You can certainly sweet talk when you have to." he said, but his tone was gentle and fond. "I just think getting into a fight with you would be ... interesting, is all. I didn't get into a single fight! I was too busy hunting to fight."

He looked Bath over critically. "I think if I was insulting you I'd just go after your little beard."

[Toshiful]

"They most certainly did!" Bath said. "I don't mind the words, insomuch, but one of them actually bit it!"

He shivered at the memory, dropping his chin defensively on his forelegs.

"It will certainly be a while before I do any more of that. Fighting. If I can help it. I'm just happy to be back, and that we are both impossibly alive. Zar, next time I think something like this is a good idea, talk me out of it."

[Baneful]

The thought of someone biting Bath's beard was oddly distressing to Zar and he moved closer to lift his chin with a foreleg and give it a grooming lick. Only he got to abuse Bath because he knew when to stop, and they both knew it wasn't very serious.

"Since when can I talk you out of anything?"

[Toshiful]

"Mmn," Barth said, but he inclined his chin a little.

"On the contrary. You always have my ear. It was me getting both of us into trouble, this time."

[Baneful]

Zar leaned over to take Bath's ear in his teeth and give it a gentle yank. "Well I suppose you can keep your ear for now." he said, releasing it, just glad to be with him again somewhere more comfortable, where there was actual food and where it was warm.

He gave Bath a long thoughtful look, as if considering something. "The whole thing made me think, I guess."

[Toshiful]

Bath laughed, flicking his ear back, the nibble feeling ticklish. But he didn't pull away.

"Yes," he admitted. "I've been thinking too. What err, what have you been thinking about?"

[Baneful]

"I've been thinking about how unfit I am and how I need to get stronger to be able to protect you from horrible things."

He initially dodged his first instinct, but then circled back to it.

"But also, yes I suppose I spent a lot of time thinking about how I don't hate spending time with you and wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

"Anything debilitating anyway."

[Toshiful]

"Oh, no," Bath puffed out dismissively. "No, next you'll be talking about how you need to exercise more. Absolutely not. You're fine just as you are."

Bath sighed and lay back, looking at the stubbornly grey sky peeking through the canopy of trees.

"Next time I'll hire someone. Not Sparrow, you know, but someone. I shouldn't like anything to happen to you, either. Trading in my bruises for your bruises doesn't bring me the slightest comfort."

[Baneful]

Zar didn't seem all that pleased at Bath's comments. He was a bit proud when it came to other people and the idea of bringing some grunt from Wrath because he couldn't fight well enough rankled him deeply. "I don't let other people fight my battles for me." he said. "And I wouldn't be very happy with someone else stepping in to help you because I'm somehow not good enough for it."

He got up from where he'd been, putting distance between them again as he made his way over to look out at the snow.

"I like excitement." he said. "I don't feel like my life is very exciting. Even the mountain! I was running food duty like some Gluttony drudge the entire time. I don't enjoy servitude."