When she sleeps, she goes there. It is as though the ground has fallen away from her, pushed her past the colors above it, but the lights that brighten the night sky still twinkle far beyond her reach. An endless expanse of darkness, surrounded by a strange and all-encompassing silence. She floats, weightless, in the space between the sky and the stars. She hears them, before she sees them. An echoing bellow, high and low at the same time, like the wind singing through the mountains. Strange, graceful creatures. Flying through nothingness, gentle fins shaped like flower petals flutter to and fro, long tails like vines twisting behind them. They seem to swim forward, spinning and swaying, dancing in the emptiness. She watches them for what feels like forever.
And then she wakes up. It's such a strange sensation. It feels so real, so natural that it doesn't seem a dream, yet everyone tells her it can be nothing else. After all, how can you wake up from reality? When she was a newborn she didn't understand, and would often ask about the strange world she saw and where it was. How could something she'd experienced from the moment she'd been born not be a part of the world she lived in? She refused to believe what she experienced was an illusion, and as she grew older, though she came to accept it as the dream it was, it was not in the way the others expected. They thought it was a passing fancy, the games of a child, and she would simply grow out of it. She, however, knew it was real. As she grew, she came to the conclusion that if what she saw while sleeping was only a dream, then she just had to find it in the waking world as well.
When she was still a foal, she was reckless. Jumping off tall rocks, trying to throw herself off small cliffs, anything in an attempt to fly up and toward her dream. This earned her quite a number of bumps, bruises and scrapes that would be far from her last. As she grew, so too did her plans. As a filly she tried jumping into rivers and lakes, swimming up waterfalls, wiggling her headplates in a vain attempt to fly and other such things. Interspersed in these attempts she began to ask more questions, anything to give her a hint as to what she might be able to do. When she didn't get the answers she wanted to started to watch and study the other creatures and plants to see what she could learn from them as well as her fellow kin. She began watching the world itself, to see what hints it might hold for her and her quest.
Eventually, she grew to be a doe. She had moved on from her small steps, and with the knowledge she'd gained from her years of seeking she began to try more. She climbed mountains, seeking a height that would lead her into the sky, but finding herself ever beneath it's beautiful colors. She attempted to fly up and above the land that was her home by jumping into the most powerful updrafts of wind she could find, hoping her headplates might act as leaves on the wind, only to find herself gliding back to the ground. The others, having grown used to her antics by now were still impressed by her dedication, though many expressed sorrow she didn't put her skills to a better use. After many months of feeling trapped, like she had already explored all this land had to offer, she became aware she was beginning to develop an intense wanderlust. Several others felt it too. An intense need to go, to travel away from these lands to find whatever it was that was calling them. For the others, it was the first time, but she knew it was just another step to the place she had been seeking her whole life.
So they went, many of them had never left the mountains they all called home. For some, it was because the desire to see more of the world could not be ignored. For others, the perfect way to earn a name. For her, she knew it had to be a sign, something that would lead her to the space between the sky and the stars. This small group of Totoma began their journey, and as they travelled they saw things they'd never thought possible. Large, seemingly endless expanses of flat land. A strange and gentle warmth that swam through the air and nestled in their fur. A damp and murky wetness that spread out before them, the place they were searching for. From the other kin they had met on their journey, they learned the place they were heading was called the Swamp, something they had only heard of in whispers, and tall tales. But strangely enough, they were here, on the edges of this place that none of them had ever believed was real.
One night, as they walked across a stretch of marshland, the water just passing their hooves, the Totoma began to notice the stars were reflecting off the water. They had seen this happen before, but never to this extent. The darkness was flawlessly mirrored in the waters surface, and if they stood perfectly still, it appeared as though the night sky surrounded them, sparkling stars in all directions. The land and the sky became one, and as the others looked up at the doe who had wandered ahead of them, headplates like flower petals and tails like vines, they remembered the dream she'd told them so many times they could practically recite it. A space between the sky and the stars, filled with strange creatures with round flower-like fins and long vine-like tails. And for a moment, they all saw it, and in that instant they shared the dream.
And there it was, the closest she would ever get to completing her impossible quest.
"Are you happy?"
The doe seemed confused, and tilted her head. "What do you mean?"
"You've found it." The same buck spoke, as though it was completely obvious. The others exchanged knowing glances.
"Found what?" The doe asked, genuinely seeming to have no idea what he meant.
After a few chuckles the buck shook his head, glancing back at the rest of their group and receiving a shrug in return. "Nevermind."
"If you say so." The doe said, tilted her head again and turning around to continue on her way.
The others approached the sighing buck, the group filled with rolled eyes and exasperated laughter at the doe before them. They probably shouldn't have been surprised. After all, she was just
Running Away from Reality... again.
