[imgright]https://matope.pixel-blueberry.com/imag ... uncert.png[/imgright] It's the time of unanswered questions that starts to break her. She wonders where and why. No matter what answer she imagines, she blames herself. Even as she pushes herself to focus on her grown children, she cannot help the instinct to hibernate in the sorrow and loss. She always knew she wasn't good enough for Snow, of course. It's impossible to be upset that she finally realized she deserved better. The sudden distance and chasm of silence is what hurts and she doesn't want their children to see anything but love for their other mother. She wants them to love her as she does. She always will love Snow, no matter what the future holds. But for a moment, she slinks off into the darkness.

It's not anger at anyone but herself that starts the tears. That same self-hatred that has lingered in her blood, adhered itself to her soul is what festers still. She was a fool to believe anyone would choose her. She's not and never has been good enough for anyone. She couldn't ever be. She's temporary; happiness is temporary. And it hurts to be left, even if she deserves it. It hurts to never be enough for someone else. She wants so badly to give up but she knows life would never be that easy. It's hard; every day is effort and work and exhausting. What it must be like for anyone else who has it easier, she cannot even imagine. If anyone has it easier...

"Why are you such an idiot?" she growls at herself never seeing the totoma standing nearby.

[imgleft]http://matope.pixel-blueberry.com/images/abbacus/battletendencies_uncert.png[/imgleft]Brute was settling down for a brief afternoon nap before resuming her daily regimen of hunting when she detected noise. Never one to run from a threat, Battle Tendencies stayed where she was, simply preparing to defend herself if necessary. A kimeti wandered into view and given that the totoma had not actually started any attempt to hide her presence, the rhetorical question from the other doe was instead taken at face value.

"That sounds a lot like fighting words, dearie," Brute said with a warning grin, her eyes narrowed as she sized up her would-be opponent.

Fight or flight, she's never known when to flee or when to keep her mouth shut. She's a raw wound right now and the littlest bit of pressure...

She narrows her eyes in return, mouth curling to reveal clenched teeth, "Hardly," she scoffs. "I'd have to be scared of you to consider giving you a warning."

There's the rational side of her, that long-ago child that stares with wide eyes at the idea of a fight, but it's long been tempered and beaten and broken down until there is only the tornado of challenge that spits her in face at every perceived threat. Unfortunately, that makes everything a threat. And then there is the fact she has a big mouth.

"You think you can handle me? You don't even have horns," she taunts.

She might have been readying herself for a nap but now she was wide awake. The totoma moved to march up to the kimeti, never once blinking and keeping her gaze locked with the other doe.  Her grin grew wide, wider, as she spoke, "The it shouldn't be a problem for you to take me on. Or is this just your wordy way of backing down while trying to save face?"

The challenge was made and she angled her head, purposely to showcase the smooth curves of her head and back. There wasn't a hint of fear in her eyes, nor was there malice. It was a genuine eagerness for a fight.

Atone should have been frightened. Should have been and wasn't, not even a little bit. If anything, she was oddly surprised the totoma was willing to fight her and there was definitely an undercurrent of something. It may have been glee; it may have been some sense that she might get her ass beaten down. It was hard to tell anymore and clearly the totoma needed no time to ready herself. Then neither did she, the doe thought.

It was feralness, an old coat that she hadn't needed for a time, that fell over her. She was mad and hurt and ready to cause havoc and blood and hatred. If it was her own, so be it. She'd tried being kind and she'd had her heart broken. So what was the point of it all, anyway? To always lose and never be good enough or even enough? That was bullshit and she wasn't about to continue it in this moment. No; she was going to fight.