[imgleft]https://matope.pixel-blueberry.com/imag ... uncert.png[/imgleft]Weeks after meeting with Watch Me, Strange Creature was feeling a bit more like herself. She was still nervous about going away from the canopy, but open ground didn’t scare her as much as it used to. True, she wasn’t up to going out alone. She always took Sprout, Tiny Tantrum, or Cold Kills with her to watch the skies, and Trouble Double’s emotional support was more valuable than ever. At night, she thought through what had happened to her, and relived the moment when she touched hooves to the ground again and again. She couldn’t help her mind spiralling into reflection, but she could at least direct the focus a bit.

But still, she knew she needed- and wanted- more help.

Songbirds were little birds. She needed a big bird.

She needed an eagle. But not a regular eagle. A controlled eagle. And that was almost an impossibility, because not even the Totoma could really control their tamed birds.

Fortunately, she knew of the one exception to this rule.

There was one kin, exactly one kin in the entire Swamp, who could help her with her problem, because that one kin was the only kin in the Swamp who could turn into an eagle. The Motherfather had placed fireflies in the eyes of only a few Totoma, and if you spent any time at a gathering of any size, you’d hear her. She was loud, energetic, and absolutely enormous, burlier than most bears let alone most kin.

They’d met before. The only thing she remembered about the Totoma is that she’d fought an impossibly large shard-salmon during the final battle of the Obelisk, and that her name, of all things, was Real Big Fish.

And so she sought her out. She wasn’t hard to find. All you had to do was look where the salmon ran and she’d be nearby.

[imgleft]https://matope.pixel-blueberry.com/imag ... ncert3.png[/imgleft] Fish wasn’t hard to find, true. This was entirely by design. The Totoma liked company, liked helping people, and most of all, liked dragging kin into the water to go fishing with her. When her eagle eyes caught glimpse of a dark kimeti’s pale face in the distance, she briefly thought it was Oath coming by again. But no, this was a different Kimeti entirely, and she strode with a purpose. Hm. This… this wasn’t a pregnant doe seeking a blessing. They walked entirely differently. Sometimes they even waddled. But this doe had something else in mind.

Fish hauled out of the river, not bothering to shake herself dry. “I don’t suppose you’re here to fish with me, are you?” she said, with a melodramatic sigh. “Nobody ever comes to fish with me.” This was a lie. Plenty of kin came to fish with her. Just… not this one.

Strange Creature was taken somewhat aback. “Er, we, uh. We can. I mean, if that’s what you want. But–“

“But you’ve come seeking something else.” Fish’s face broke into a kind smile. “That’s fine, stranger! I’m here to help. You’ve got trouble written all over your face. You and your… one, two, three, how many others are hiding? You and your several lizards are in some kind of trouble. I can see it in your walk and your eyes.” She had an idea of what the trouble might be. Everybody had seen what had happened with the eagle in the mountains, and this was definitely the kin.

“Five. Five with me today. Two tegus, two dragons, and one spectral turtle. I don’t go anywhere without them these days. That’s my problem- I can’t. I love their company, but…

Well. You were there. You were in the mountains, you saw what happened. I still don’t know how we got home, but I do know that ever since that day, the open sky is a waking nightmare. Even the flickering shadows of leaves overhead sent me into a panic. I thought… I thought I’d died. Not my physical body, but my spirit. I thought she’d died and I’d left her in the mountains.”

She paused for a minute. Fish was gazing at her intently, the wheels in her head turning about what kind of advice to offer. She knew that look. She’d tell her story, and kin would try to offer some kind words. It wasn’t that the kindness wasn’t appreciated- it’s that the kindness couldn’t fix anything. If kind words could protect her, she’d never be afraid again. Kindness could soothe some wounds, but the scars of her attack… those were in her own mind, and only she could fix them. There were no magic words for this. What she needed was experience. What she needed was an eagle. So before Fish could speak, she continued.

“And here’s the thing, I know that I didn’t. I know that didn’t happen, because I’m still me. Just… there’s parts of me locked away, like they’re trapped at the bottom of a sinkhole. Recently, I had an experience that helped bring some light to the dark place. I sought out another one like you. He turned into a bird, and it was the first time since we’ve returned that a flying shadow overhead was tolerable. It helped. And so now I’m here, begging for your favor. I have nothing I can do for you, but I need to see an eagle. I need to look at an eagle, I need to smell an eagle, I need to get up close and personal with an eagle that I know will not hurt me and will not suddenly take off.

And there’s no way a regular eagle would be still enough do that.”

Fish nodded, relieved that she hadn’t had to speak yet. What would you even SAY to such a kin. “Sorry you got picked up by the spectral embodiment of rage and nearly killed? Sorry you had to climb on its back and bash its head to get it to land? Sorry that you need a small cloud of scaly bodyguards to function at all? Sorry couldn’t fix anything here. She didn’t need pity, she didn’t need an apology.

She needed an eagle.

“So what you need from me is- what, just for me to take my eagle shape? And… let you smell me?”

“Well- yeah.” Strange Creature shrugged. “Just… I need to get familiar with what an eagle is so that I can separate out the sounds and the feel and the general shape of an eagle from the… whatever it really was.” She still wasn’t sure what exactly had happened, other than trauma. “Please? Can you help me?”

[imgleft]https://matope.pixel-blueberry.com/imag ... ncert4.png[/imgleft] Fish nodded, smiling. “Of course. I’ll do it slowly, and just step to the side.” She flowed into her eagle shape, damp tufts of fur puddling into feathers. The ghostly shape of the Totoma stood next to the bird, mirroring its movements. She could see an infinity of emotions pass over the doe’s face. Fear, loathing, rage, misery, fear again- and an anger at being made to feel small. With a twitch of her wings, she spread herself out just a bit, inviting the doe closer.

Half Truth’s blood froze for a moment when she saw the eagle. It wasn’t just the bird’s size- it was the eyes, that hot glare, that sharp beak. They took her back to that place. But she shut her eyes and shook her head. No. No. No.

That wasn’t what this was.

Focus on what you see. Look at it. Feathers, that shade of brown and a grey that’s almost blue in the light. The stripes, like the Totoma’s horns. The eyes- they glow yellow, like fireflies. Like the Totoma. Like a Kimeti. Like a Kin. That’s a. Kin. Just in a different shape than I’m used to. It’s still a kin. Look at the feathers, long and strong. The primaries, secondaries, coverts. Tail. The spectral eagle, it flowed together, the boundaries between them breaking and merging. It wasn’t… it wasn’t an eagle exactly, was it. More like something that had been pressed into the shape of an eagle against its will. Something that had changed horribly and there was nothing it or anyone else could do. It was bigger, so much bigger. And look, no crystal shards piercing this bird’s body. This was what eagles were here. They were big birds, but that was all.

She still hadn’t managed to take a step towards the eagle. She’d ducked her head and was just staring.

Fish took a step forward. The ghostly Totoma simply floated in place, and the eagle took a shuffling little hop, feathers fluffing and settling into place.

It was just a little move, but it was enough to snap Strange Creature out of her thoughts. She jolted her head up, pulling back into herself. Suddenly, from the bushes, an awful rattling of branches and furious hissing! Before she could say otherwise, Trouble Double had rushed out from her hiding spot, darting between her Kimeti friend’s hooves, and stood her ground between Strange Creature and the eagle. Lashing her tail and hissing, the tegu’s threat display was intense. She stood up, making herself as big as she could, while her tail whipped dangerously. Without thinking, Strange Creature yelped wordlessly and took a step forward, shoving the tegu behind her. For a moment, she forgot the eagle was really a kin, and her only thought was fear of her friend being eaten. Not fear of what might happen to her.

Real Big Fish chuckled and flowed back into her natal shape. “With a defender that ferocious, what do you need me for? Calm your critter- let her know it’s ok- and then I’ll take the eagle shape again.”

Strange Creature was deeply grateful for the Totoma’s patience. Trouble Double was still hissing, confused as to what had happened. She could still feel her heart pounding, and knew the tegu’s was as well. Kneeling down, she laid her head along the animal’s, slowing her breathing intentionally and trying to radiate calm.

This… this was good. It wasn’t good that her lizard was stressed, but it was good that she hadn’t frozen. She’d seen a threat and reacted. That’s not what had happened in the mountains- she’d just… been paralyzed with fear. At least now, she could use it as a lever, something to act upon. Maybe this meant she was getting bolder, braver. Maybe this meant she was stronger now, and could take more chances.

When the tegu was calm, Strange Creature braced herself once more.

Fish took her eagle shape and waited. This time, she knew the other kin would come closer. She had to. She recognized the signs of bravery returning to her, of some internal motivating force pushing her onward. Strange Creature was coming into her own again. This was good. She’d seen kin snap before. Not so much in the Swamp- kin were resilient in different ways here. Totoma strength traditionally came from rigidity, an adherence to tradition and to the physical strength that was so important in the mountains. But in the Swamp, flexibility was the truest strength. It meant that you could escape the floods and shelter from the storms. This strange creature, this kimeti- she could be flexible. She could be ok. She spread her wings wide, as if she was sunning herself, and let the other kin approach.

She took a step forward, then another. Then another. Then one more, and she found herself right next to the eagle. As the spectral form of the Totoma seemed to encourage her, she took a tenuous sniff. It… didn’t really smell like anything other than oily, fishy bird. Normal smells. She remembered the smell of blood from the spectral eagle, how it filled her nostrils and mouth and she felt like she was choking on her own life force, and how she was sure she’d never get away… but that wasn’t the sensory reality now. Right now she was smelling something that… well, it was pungent, but not in a bad way. It was a good stink. A real stink. Now for the biggest test.

“Before…” she took a deep breath. “Before I run away screaming will you hop up on my back and try to carry me off?”